Have you ever had a friend or family member for whom you were very concerned and attempted to do all you could to help them, to rescue them from themselves? It is well documented that many children of alcoholics, domestic abusers, and drug addicts, tend to see their roles as savior and protector of other family members. Instinctively, when there is a perceived threat, they seek to save and protect. It’s referred to as the “savior complex” and it can easily creep into our thinking as believers. We sometimes think, perhaps because of our undying devotion, gifts, insights, etc., that we can be the primary change agents in people’s lives.
I observe this often with students. They have concerns for their friends and so they seek to be their primary helper or fixer. If they are anxious or depressed, they will be the ones coming to the rescue. If they are making stupid and destructive choices, they will be there to lessen the damage and help clean up the mess. They see themselves as their savior. However, it is a mistaken assumption. There is only one Savior, and they aren’t Him.
Paul writes to Timothy that our hope is in the living God who is the Savior of all people. And no matter the love and concern behind our intentions, it is a gross mistake to attempt to be anyone’s savior. There is only one Savior and He is the only one who can save people from themselves. Can we be of comfort and assistance? Of course, but we cannot save anyone. That is not our calling nor within our power.
Instead, our role in friends’ and family members’ lives is to help lead them to the One who can indeed save them from themselves. So, how do we do that? The primary way is through continual prayer. We lift them up to the Lord who knows them thoroughly. He knows there needs and weaknesses and can meet them if they will let Him. We can also demonstrate with our own lives the value of depending on the Lord to care and provide for us, as well as being a witness to the joy of allowing Jesus to guide us in life instead of depending on our own efforts and wisdom. And, we can be present, being used by the Lord to give the same type of comfort we ourselves have received from the Lord (II Corinthians 1:3-4) But, again, this is comfort designed to help lead them to be dependent on the Lord, not upon us.
Today, if there are people in your life that need saving from themselves, realize that you are not the one to do the saving. It is not your job nor within your power. That belongs to THE Savior—Jesus. He wants to use you, but only in a way that leads them to the One who can actually save.
© Jim Musser 2017
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