Love: More Than a Feeling

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” (I Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV)

I am thinking about love today—love for my wife.  Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I am reminded how our journey in marriage has been such a blessing.  It is a unique love story that only God could put together and I am so thankful that He introduced us to one another.

While it has been a blessed and joyful journey, it has not always been easy.  Love seldom is.   So much of the common definition of love is based solely on emotion, but Paul defines it quite differently.  When we read these traits of love, one thing stands out.  Love is not so much expressed through feelings as through actions.  

Love is patient and kind toward an imperfect person whether she seems to deserve it or not, whether you feel like it or not.  Love is not easily angered even when you’ve had a lousy day, week, or year.  Love does not hold onto grudges even when you’ve been clearly wronged or treated badly.  Love doesn’t give up when things get rough and seek someone else.  You hang in there always hoping things will get better.

The love Paul describes is grounded not in feelings, but commitment. Love is easy when we feel like it.  That’s why most marriages start out well because the romantic feelings are fueling it.  But those feelings tend to recede over time as the stuff of life—work, kids, and the ordinariness of routine—becomes dominant.  Then what?  

If you only understand love as a feeling, your marriage will eventually become a struggle because no one can maintain those strong romantic feelings indefinitely.  Love involves commitment and self-sacrifice.  But in that there is much joy because it echoes the love of our Heavenly Father for us.  And it is only through His power that we can truly love someone else.

Today, as you think about the prospect of marriage, the marriage you are now in, or some other relationship, recognize it is not your feelings that fuel it, but your commitment to loving the other person in the same way the Lord has loved you.

© Jim Musser 2014