Toxic Relationships

“Do not be misled: ‘Bad company corrupts good character.’" (I Corinthians 15:33 NIV)

Relationships with people are vital.  We are by nature social beings.  God created us to be in relationships.  But not all relationships are beneficial, even if they are between professing Christians.

The quality test of any relationship is this: Does it help to further and deepen your relationship with the Lord or does it lead you away from Him?  I call the latter a toxic relationship.  

Think for moment about the relationships you have, the ones from which you draw security and a sense of significance.  These may be either romantic or merely friendships.  Do they enhance your relationship with the Lord or do they distract you from Him?  Do they lead you deeper into spiritual maturity or do they hold you back?

We live in a culture that continually promotes romance and friendship. You can’t miss that if you spend an hour watching TV.  Much of our significance and purpose is found in our relationships.  The question we need to ask, however, is where these relationships are leading us spiritually?

Relationships in the Christian context have but one purpose—to glorify God.  There may be some in which we are getting little back from the person spiritually, but we are glorifying the Lord by trying to pour His love into that person.  We are to be His light in the world, thus we must build relationships with people to do that.  However, our other relationships, be they romantic or friendships, should be helping lead us into a deeper relationship with the Lord.  

Sadly, I see a lot of relationships that are toxic.  Romantic ones that are based merely on attraction and having fun, but with no true spiritual dimension.  Friendships that are based on mutual interests and hanging out, but with no real purpose of spurring one another on to greater spiritual depth.  The end result is either spiritual decline or a stunting in growth and maturity. 

It has always been true that bad company has a corrupting influence on us, even if our company happens to be fellow believers.  If these believers are not really growing, are not truly interested in the things of God or making them a priority, then they are potentially toxic to your spiritual life.

Today, think about the relationships you are in currently.  Do they encourage you spiritually?  Do they help spur you on to deeper maturity? Or are they holding you back?  Nothing is more important than your relationship with the Lord and no other relationship is worth holding onto if it negatively impacts that one.

© Jim Musser 2014