Recordkeeping

“If you, Lord, kept a record of sins, Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness, so that we can, with reverence, serve you.” (Psalm 130:3-4 NIV)

My mother was a great keeper of records.  Recently, I discovered some of her calendars from my teenage years.  For every day, she recorded the high and low temperatures and most days have entries of what she did or what we kids did.  For example, “High: 82º Low: 68º  Bobby came for dinner.  Jimmy went to the lake to fish.”  Because of her meticulous recordkeeping, I can practically relive much of what went on in our home when I was a kid.

Over the weekend, I discovered that I have my mother’s penchant for recordkeeping.  I don’t record the daily weather or what I do each day on my iCal, but I realize what I do exceptionally well is keep a record of my sins.  This realization came to me at our Leaders’ Retreat this past weekend while we were singing Jesus Culture’s song, “Your Love Is Everything.”  The chorus has these lyrics: “You keep no record of my sin. You don't remember all my shame.”  As I was singing, I acknowledged the truth of these words, but also realized that I do keep a record of my sin and not only do I remember my shame, I am still ashamed when I go back over my list!  How could I have allowed myself to do such things while at the same time proclaiming that I am a follower of Jesus?  

As I have reflected on what was revealed to me, I realize that list has been like a ball and chain in my life.  For much of my life and ministry, I John 1:9 has been a pivotal verse.  “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”  I have shared this verse countless times with students caught up in guilt over their sin and doubt that God can forgive them, and I wholeheartedly believe its truth.  Yet I realize it’s the list I have been keeping that has prevented me from truly being set free from my past.  

Freedom in this life will not come through being sinless.  That will have to wait for the next life.  But we can be freed from the shame of our falleness by recognizing the glorious fact God does not keep a record of our sins. Once we ask forgiveness, they are erased—permanently.  There is no list left lying around.  

Today if, like me, you are an excellent record keeper when it comes to your sin, take the Psalmist’s words to heart.  If God doesn’t see the need to keep a record of our past sins, then neither do we.  

© Jim Musser 2013